This appetizer is fancy but not too fancy

Like a crab rangoon meets an everything bagel. HEAR ME OUT.

How do you feel about leaks? I have two leaks in my life: one good, one bad. One is in the ceiling of my roommate’s room, and it’s been dripping water on and off for over a year. It was “fixed” once by our former absentee landlord, I’m sure with some chewing gum and newspaper, but now we have to get it re-fixed before a new tenant comes into that room…. next week.

[Skip this section if you don’t care about the Wicked movie]

The other leak is a good one :) Yesterday, I listened to audio of the Wicked movie footage (the movie doesn’t come out until Thanksgiving 2024) that was shown at CinemaCon. In general, I try to avoid TV spoilers (but I’m also firmly in the camp that you should watch it on time if you’re that obsessed) and leaked albums from pop divas, attempting to save my surprise and delight for when the thing is actually happening. It’s so easy to form an opinion with limited information that then unfairly color your experience later on. For instance, I am scrupulously swiping past all Eras Tour TikToks on my For You page. But with Wicked, a musical that made me love musicals, I just couldn’t help it.

I would like to now publish a series of texts that I exchanged with a friend that summarize my feelings.

All this being said, I’ve also heard leaks of Ariana doing the option-up at the end of “No One Mourns the Wicked” and oh my god the musical theater prowess she has been holding inside and now gets to unleash on all of us… Ariana and Cynthia Erivo both sound amazing, of course. Ariana is doing a weird breathy character voice but okay? Overall, I’m excited and scared and I’ll probably forget all of this in the next year and a half anyway.

EGO Recommends

📺 TV: The Diplomat
I watch so many trashy Netflix shows in the vein of international spy thriller/political drama. I’ve gobbled up like three in the last month and they all look and feel so similar that I’ve completely forgotten which is which. BUT The Diplomat brought to an end this blur of similar shows. Keri Russell plays a reluctant, new ambassador to England who has to manage an international conflict that starts with the mysterious bombing of a British ship — while also managing her rogue former-ambassador husband who might be hurting more than he’s helping. Russel is excellent. They tried so hard to make her look like a drab, exhausted career government agent and still she looks stunning. Refreshingly good dialogue and acting and it really makes me want to go watch Russel’s other show in this genre: The Americans.

I have chocolate on my face in this

🎁 My Favorite Things: The Stanley Quencher 40-oz (affiliate)
My emotional support water bottles have just gotten bigger and bigger over the years. I was searching for a bottle with a lid and a straw; one that, if it did tip over, didn’t absolutely gush water all over the place. Most importantly, I wanted one I didn’t have to keep refilling, a task which I hate. The straw is slightly smaller than boba size, and the bottom of the bottle is slimmed down to fit into most car cup holders. This is the largest size they make in this model but they also have two smaller sizes, and in may chic colors (this one is Chambray). I absolutely guzzle three fill-ups of it in one day, so I’m certainly hitting my water goals. But I think I’ve now trained myself to be thirsty more often, and of course I have to run to the restroom constantly. Worth it!

And by the way! I have a whole page on my website of the products I have and love (or very similar products) under “My Favorite Things” on the menu bar. Many of these are either baking essentials or things that totally changed my baking game for the better. And there are even more on my Amazon Storefront.

Okay, let’s get to the recipe!

This Week’s Recipe

Judges, today I have prepared for you puff pastry cases with an everything bagel seasoning rim, filled with a scallion cream cheese/goat cheese filling and topped with pepper jelly. I really wasn’t prepared to realize, upon first tasting, that these are *so* evocative of crab rangoon. The pepper jelly hits the same notes as a sweet chili sauce, and then it mixes with the cream cheese and the crispiness of the shell.

But if you don’t like crab rangoon, then in that case they’re nothing like that and they’re just a take on an everything bagel with scallion cream cheese haha. ha. They did also remind me of when I worked in Midtown Manhattan near a Bibble and Sip and I would grab their everything bagel croissant stuffed with cream cheese for lunch too often and wow I have to go back there. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I grew up in the midwest going to parties where pepper jelly was just spread on a block of cream cheese and served with crackers as a party offering. And that delicious simplicity, truly, was the inspiration for this recipe.

Either way, I was shocked at how easy these were to make and how elegant they looked while also feeling down to earth. And they take like 30 minutes to make!

We start by cutting out circles of puff pastry. And, as I said in my recent IG post, store-bought is really, really fine when it comes to puff pastry. And if you don’t want to waste any puff pastry (I saved my scraps) or if you don’t have any circle cutters, you can cut them into squares and score them with a sharp knife. Then, egg wash is brushed on just the outer rim of the puffs (you can also use water or milk or cream, it’s mainly just so the seasoning has something to stick to). Try not to get too much in the crevice as that can make the next step tricky.

This is the most satisfying part of the recipe. Because we’ve scored the rim, we can just push down the centers and they should fall in one clean circle, leaving a dam that we can pipe the filling into. I used a piping bag with no tip, but you can absolutely just use a spoon or cut the end off a zipper bag and fill them that way.

I used a half-teaspoon to pour on the pepper jelly, but add as much or as little as you want. And garnish with whatever green thing you like or nothing at all. I’m still deciding what the hell I’m going to call these on my site (where they’ll be up some time next week) but until then…?

Everything Bagel Puffs with Pepper Jelly

Makes 12-15 two-inch puffs. This recipe can easily be doubled.

Ingredients

• One store-bought puff pastry sheet (thawed per package instructions)

• 1 egg yolk, milk or cream (for egg wash)

• “Everything” or “everything bagel” seasoning 

• 6 ounces cream cheese (not cream cheese spread)(softened)

• 2 ounces goat cheese (softened)(can be replaced with the same amount of cream cheese)

• Juice of half a lemon

• A dash of Worcestershire sauce (optional)

• Kosher salt

• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper

• 1 green onion, thinly sliced 

• 3 tablespoons red pepper jelly

• Sliced green onions or dill fronds for garnish

Directions

1. Ensure your puff pastry has thawed according to package instructions. Usually this means sitting for 40 minutes at room temperature.

2. Preheat oven to 400°F.

3. Using a circle cookie cutter, cut 12 two-inch circles (or as many as you can) or cut the sheet into 12 or 15 squares. If using a cookie cutter, don’t twist when you press down, this will prevent the pastry from puffing up evenly.

4. Cut a smaller circle in the middle of each puff, about 1-inch in diameter (I used a 1 1/8-inch cutter). If cutting squares, cut a smaller square so you’re left with a border that’s slightly less than a half-inch wide. Don’t worry about cutting all the way through. We’re just scoring them so we can press down the middles later.

5. Brush the border of each puff with beaten egg yolk, milk or cream, trying to avoid the crevice where you cut the smaller shape. (You can use a pastry brush or even a clean finger. I used a small art brush.) Sprinkle everything seasoning on the rims.

6. Transfer your cutouts to a half sheet tray lined with parchment paper. Bake on the middle rack for 12-15 minutes or until the puffs are puffed up, set and deep golden brown on top.

7. Remove from the oven and gently press down the centers of each puff with a measuring spoon (a shot glass also works well.)

8. While waiting for the puffs to fully cool, make the filling. Using a hand mixer or whisk, beat together the cream cheese, goat cheese, a pinch of salt, black pepper, Worcestershire sauce, and lemon juice until smooth. Beat in the green onions just until combined.

9. Using a piping bag or a zipper bag with a corner snipped off (or just a spoon!) fill each puff with a heaping mound of the cream cheese mixture.

10. Warm up the pepper jelly in the microwave for about 10 seconds just to loosen it up a little. Dollop about a half-teaspoon on top of each puff.

11. Garnish with more sliced green onions or dill fronds.

If you want to make these ahead of time, you can do all the steps until baking, then cover and refrigerate the prepared cutouts and filling. Once you’re ready to assemble, continue with the recipe as normal.