Peanut Butter Cheddar Cookies

Would I ever lead you astray?

Tuesday was the last day of my week-long post-New Year break, which was also kind of not a break. All partnership emails went unanswered. I was not recipe developing, I was not capturing videos to post later — although I can’t help but take pictures of the stuff I eat, so that didn’t stop. At the same time, and the reason it was also kind of not a break, I was doing a lot of healthcare-taxes-easygayoven business stuff that sucked up pretty much 75% of my time. All I’ll say is, more people should know how hard this country makes it to be self-employed!

But by far the best part of the break, the one that was so worth it and made the most impact: I deleted Instagram and TikTok. Oh my GOD it was great. Not doing the day-to-day work of recipe testing, editing photos and videos, writing this newsletter, was definitely a refreshing hiatus. (And thanks for being patient with me if you’ve been waiting by your mailbox for another recipe drop.) But that benefit was surprisingly overshadowed by the peace I felt of avoiding … comparison to other creators, feelings of inadequacy, pressure to post more, the never-ending onslaught of bad news. Now, I still got plenty of the latter because I did scroll Twitter a few times. And if you’ve been watching the news, you’ll know that has been a shit show.

Typically, the second I opened my eyes in the morning, I check my dating apps, then Instagram, then email. (Yeah, my phone addiction is pretty bad.) As soon the first few Reels and Stories flew up my screen, my head would begin to buzz. Not like a bee — like a jackhammer. And it would keep droning until I soothed it with productivity, the gym, distracting myself, socializing — or it would completely consume me and I’d be in a sort of zombie stupor all day. Even after the break ended on Tuesday, I didn’t redownload Instagram until Thursday night. I genuinely felt better, more focused, less pulled in 10 directions without it. (Also, frankly, I don’t scroll a lot on TikTok and usually it actually makes me feel okay — until I read my comments section!). That terrorizing buzzing on my break, though? Gone! Hard to believe!

It’s hard to reconcile my love for food, design, teaching, sharing, being inspired and hopefully inspiring others on social media with the knowledge that it makes us feel like shit and the platform owners are literally ushering in fascism. If I use these apps less but I keep feeding them with my work, am I just dropping the hot potato on followers and viewers and then selfishly getting out of Dodge?

What does that mean for you? I’m not sure. Maybe, as my friends tell me, this is one of those intros that should have just been for the journal. But I don’t have a journal! All I know is I’m really happy that Substack, and this Substack, are both getting more popular. I much prefer the feeling I get doing this — creating the recipes I want, and YOU want, and passing on all the info I can get to make your baking better — than whatever the buzzing is.

This Week’s Recipe

Okay, just… hear me out! This flavor combination makes sense; you’re just not thinking about it right. What are two components of a great charcuterie board? Nuts and cheese. A pecan and some bleu. A slice of cheddar and a Marcona almond??? Just hold my hand as I take you one step further into the realm of possibilities of this partnership.

A chewy peanut butter cookie, ripply and flat, gets swirled with a mysterious cheese mixture and topped with an optional cracker sandwich. What results is a salty-sweet dream. Have you guessed what the cheese swirl is yet? I’ll give you a hint: you can find it at any grocery store. Okay, fine, I’ll tell you! The secret…